This post has been brought to you by Robin Hamilton, surly narrowboat dweller and tasty bit of rough from Barging In. Josephine Myles is his humble scribe, and is offering thanks on his behalf to Heidi and Marie.
How to make a cup of tea on a narrowboat in ten simple steps
- Shift sleeping cat and boyfriend’s arm off chest and peel back covers quickly, before the frigid air makes you chicken out. Leap out of bed and pull as many layers of clothing on as possible. You may end up looking like a tramp, but that’s only to be expected when you live on a boat. Woollen hats with ear flaps and thermal undies are essential during the winter months.
- Stagger through to your galley and make an unnecessary amount of noise clattering about with the kettle and lighting the wood burning stove. This is to wake Dan up. It won’t work, but never mind. You can always go back and wake him up in a more pleasant way once you’ve had a hot caffeine injection.
- Discover your water tank has run dry. Turn the air blue cursing Dan for using up all the water last night with a totally unnecessary shower. Well, okay, it probably was necessary bearing in mind the mess he was in when you’d finished with him, but you can conveniently ignore this fact as it’s early and you haven’t had your first cup of tea yet.
- Head outside with your kettle and walk along the towpath through the early morning mist. Eventually reach a spring in the hillside, and fill up your kettle with delicious fresh water. Feel somewhat rejuvenated by splashing some over your face.
- Get back to the boat and put kettle on hob. Turn on gas. Gas refuses to make an appearance. Curse even louder at inconsiderate boyfriends and their profligate use of the water heater last night.
- Stumble out onto the front deck and open the gas storage hatch. Discover you neglected to buy a fresh bottle of gas last time you ran out. Rub temples vigorously to try and ease caffeine withdrawal headache and startle all the ducks by letting loose a torrent of foul language.
- Remember you have a perfectly good wood burning stove you can heat the kettle on, and regain some measure of calm.
- Boil kettle on stove, but discover your milk has gone sour. Knock head against nearest flat surface and resign yourself to drinking your tea black, rather than white – the way every self-respecting Brit drinks it.
Slurp down mug of black tea while glaring at stove. Decide that Dan can make the next round of tea. You’ll let him find out for himself all the trouble he’s caused with his inconsiderate late night showers.- Remove layers of clothing and crawl back into a warm bed. Snuggle up next to Dan who makes delicious sleepy noises. Nuzzle against his fresh-smelling neck and decide maybe that shower was worth it after all.
Meet Robin and Dan properly in Barging In by Josephine Myles – published by Samhain tomorrow.
Preorder links: Amazon and Samhain
COMMENT TO WIN: All comments during the Barging In blog tour will be entered into a prize draw for a 10″x7″ signed and mounted print of my photograph of the Kennet and Avon canal, near Bath – as used on the cover of Barging In! What’s more, the stretch of canal shown here is the very part where Dan first crashes into Robin – ah, happy memories!
The more comments you leave, the more chances to win. Please remember to leave your email address in the body of the comment so I can get in touch with you. I’ll make the draw on 2nd October, 9pm GMT, so you have until then to leave your comments.
Heidi Cullinan
Evaine
Marie Sexton
Shawny
Sooo pretty! (the canal *and* the boys). I live not too far away from Bath, and would love to have your photograph.
I liked the way you conveyed the cold and dampness of being on a narrowboat on an English canal – or indeed of just being in England, most of the time. Good luck with the relase tomorrow!
helenajustina at hotmail.co.uk
Hi HJ! Thanks – it is a droolworthy cover, isn’t it? I was thrilled when I saw it ;D
Yes, we certainly do have to put up with an awful lot of cold and damp, don’t we? Especially out here in the West Country. Still, we have beautiful green countryside to make up for it.
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Congrats on the new release. I’m afraid I’m far to spoiled, I would have just screamed, packed my bag and moved to a hotel. LOL Thankfully I don’t drink tea or coffee at home so I’d be okay. Now if the orange juice container was empty there might be a problem.
Thanks Tam!
I’m pretty good at roughing it, but my tolerance of this sort of thing before I’ve had my morning cuppa is very low indeed. Yes, the gas and water do always run out at the most inopportune times!
*Snickers* this makes me really, really happy to not be a caffeine addict
I find it so difficult to wrap my head around the idea that other people aren’t addicted to caffeine like I am. God knows, I try to limit it, but I need that morning cuppa to feel human! Robin clearly shares my feelings in this important matter
*lol* I might have known that something which sounded so practical and useful would, in your hands, ascend into a tangy mix of homely conflict threaded through with humour. So much going wrong, so much bad language and then that warm, snuggly resolution at the end. Priceless.
Voice of experience? Hmmm?
Erm… I definitely remember getting in a snit a few times when water, gas or milk ran out when I needed a cuppa – I don’t remember them ever all happening at once, though!
So glad you enjoyed it, Prue – thanks for letting me know
I think some of my favourite child hood memories come from summers on the canal. living in a town in the north of England our house backed straight on the the canal and my friends a few doors down had a boat that we would go out on during school holidays. The locks were always interesting and I would not recommend falling in to anyone. But it’s a great was to relax.
Hi Sarah
Canals are great, aren’t they? There always seems to be something of interest going on, even though they are really relaxing at the same time.
And no, that water is definitely not for swimming! Ugh! Boaters used to say you weren’t a proper boater until you’d been “christened”, but I never was… Well, just a foot one time!
I do miss the canal. Haven’t been on a boat in years but it’s something i’ve been thinking about doing again. So much fun and great memories
awwww…love it! (I just wait till my DH makes me a hot cup of tea in the mornings on weekends. I make my own while I make the kids’ lunches during the week.)
Nice to see another tea addict, Tracy! My husband makes my morning cuppa too, for which I am eternally grateful
Haha! Putting milk in your tea is just weird to me though. Into coffee? Yes. Tea, not so much. Of course, you probably make your tea so strong that it needs milk.
Yep, Robin likes his tea strong. I have him down for builder’s brew strength. Just one of the many important details to know about your characters ;P
Call yourself an anglophile? Milk in tea is the proper way to drink it. Get with the programme, Lou ;D
My favourite hot drink at the moment is sweetened earl grey red black ginger – and yes, that does make sense! It’s earl grey made using roioos (red) served without milk (black) and with several thin slices of ginger. It’s good hot or iced with lime.
Otherwise yes, my tea is always very strong and very milky.
I’m still trying to decide whether or not I like the sound of that one, Jay… That said, Rooibosch Chai is a big favourite of mine, so I can see the ginger working.
Strong and milky: just the way tea should be!
Oooh, I am so excited about this book! I have been hearing such good things. Please count me in for the giveaway!
joyfullyjay @ gmail dot com
You’re counted Jayhjay – so glad to know you’ve been hearing good things
That was adorable. Can’t wait to meet them!
Thanks Buda
I hope you enjoy the read – and there’s no more waiting necessary as it’s out now!
Oh this was a fun read
Don’t like milk in tea though unless it’s chai… 
Hi Thrace
Ooh, chai – I do like chai as well. Maybe not first thing in the morning, though, as it’s a bit of a hassle to make…
Happy Release Day, Jo!
That sounds like even more hassle than making tea in the racing car transporter used to be.
stevieDOTcarrollATdormouseDOTmyzenDOTcoDOTuk
Hi Stevie! It wasn’t this much hassle every day – poor old Robin got a raw deal
Making tea in a racing transporter does sound like roughing it!
Sounds totally cute.
Thanks Sabrina – glad you think so