Embarrassing Moments
I’m thrilled to be here – thanks for having me! I’m KC Burn and I could talk about writing or something, but since sex is a prevailing theme, I thought I’d go with… most embarrassing sexual incident.
Anyone ever read that Cosmo section where readers send in their most embarrassing dating moment? Because I have one of those. (Do they still have that section? Been awhile since I picked up a Cosmo.)
I was sort of dating this guy — let’s call him Steve — and he took me to a party at a friend’s house, and we’ll call him Joe (after all, we must change the names to protect the innocent or at least, the unwitting accessories). I had only met Joe a time or two before this, and had never been to his place. Steve and I ended up in a spare room, making out on the floor. My shirt and bra lay out of reach on the bed behind us. Around midnight, the door opened, and a bright ol’ shaft of light clearly illuminated my state of undress (Steve had his shirt off, too, but that hardly matters). It was Joe’s mom. And the conversation went like this:
“Oh, hi, Steve.”
“Hi, Joe’s mom.”
“How are you, Steve? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”
The conversation continues in this vein for a while, with a brief introduction of my half-naked self to Joe’s mom before Joe’s mom says, “I’ll see you later, Steve.” And closes the door. Seriously. This whole conversation happened while my upper half is completely BARE. There’s only so much crossed arms will do. Although we tried to revive it, the mood was shattered. So, I gathered up my shirt and bra from the bed, which is when I discovered there were a couple of travel bottles of lotion on the bed. One of them had opened and lotion had leaked over the bed. Yeah. Lotion. I swear, it was LOTION. And there’s no chance Joe’s mom was going to think a wet spot on the bedspread was something other than the obvious, unless she – ewww – sniffed it, right?!?
Needless to say, I was too embarrassed to return to Joe’s. Fortunately for me, I soon met the guy who’d become my husband, so I didn’t have to worry about hanging out at Joe’s. Of course, there’s also a story about my mother-in-law and fellatio… but that’s a story for another time 
There you go – my most embarrassing dating/sexual moment. Care to share yours? Or just feel free to laugh at my misery. Friday I’ll be giving away a copy of my latest release, Trompe L’oeil, in which Tyler has a number of dating mishaps, not the least of which is his obsession with the guy in his new painting.
www.kcburn.com
Twitter || Facebook || Blog
Cop Out – coming soon from Dreamspinner Press
Trompe L’oeil – available from Loose Id
Heidi Cullinan
Marie Sexton
Evaine
shawnyjeann
Holy Cow … I’m almost sorry to laugh … but that was hilarious!
Yeah, I can totally laugh about it now, but at the time – total humiliation!
Pingback: K.C. Burn – Erotic Romance Author » Blog Archive » My Embarrassment – guest blogging at Coffee & Pr0n
Oh, my… gotta love those embarrassing moments!
Here’s mine (it’s a 2-parter): I was in bed with my boyfriend, engaging in some rather, um, vigorous activity. Now, I am by no means quiet when I’m having a good time in bed, but because my roommate was home and (I thought) already sleeping, I tried to keep the noise down. Did I mention that his bedroom was directly above mine? And that, apparently, he could still hear every little (and not so little) sound I made? Well, my BF and I had been watching some porn earlier in the evening and because of it, he had this insane desire to re-enact part of the scene and finish on my face. So when he was close, he pulled out of me and ripped the condom off… and that’s when he lost his balance and slammed face first into the headboard, coming in my hair.
I. Lost. It!
So there I was, laughing hysterically at the absurdity of the moment while trying to see if my BF was okay or if he had really hurt himself. My roommate started pounding on the ceiling above me and yelled for us to keep it down which just made me laugh even harder. Once my BF decided he hadn’t given himself a concussion, he rolled out of bed and headed across the hall to bathroom in search of a towel for clean up. What he didn’t realize was that my roommate had come downstairs and was in the kitchen getting something to drink. Did I mention that my BF was walking around naked? And that he had left my bedroom door open? It gets better…
When I heard my BF and roommate awkwardly talking to one another in the hall, I moved to sit up in bed (I was still sprawled out on my back at the time). Well, when I pushed up with my arms to scooch up in bed, all of a sudden my shoulder snapped and I was crying out in intense pain.
Both boys came running to see what was wrong. Did I mention that I was still naked and had dried come in my hair? After a trip to the emergency room for xrays, I ended up in a sling for my torn bicep tendon. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a cure for my mortification and I had to live with my roommate reminding me about the incident for the next 6 months.
Good times.
OMG, Elle – that’s a good story! I have to admit, there have been a number of times where I’ve secretly prayed no hospital visits/paramedics would be required – for pretty much the reasons you described! Glad you survived
OMG, that is awful! Very impressive, but awful!
Mine is probably my daughter walking in on us. Fortunately we are “post” instead of during but we were still pretty obviously doing something strange. I walked her back to her room and she wanted to know why I was yelling/crying out/making noises. I told her “Mommy had a bad dream and Daddy was making me feel better.”
She totally bought it (too out of it to ask why we were doing this naked). My friends still laugh at me about it (but they all stole my explanation to use just in case with their own kids!)
Oh, that’s a good explanation! Good for you for thinking on your… uh… “feet”
Yeah, that sounds pretty embarrassing. No, I won’t share – but I’ll be happy to snicker at your moment;-)