I have an admission to make: I like pretty boys. This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone who follows me on Twitter, has ever seen the Holsum College Tumblr, or has witnessed me talking about One Direction. I’ve got a thing for skinny boys who are more than a little fem, and I make no qualms about sharing this with the world.
This preference has not always worked in my favor as a romance writer. I once read a publisher’s submission guidelines (can’t remember which publisher) that specifically stated that heroes must be handsome, rugged, tall, and attractive, but NEVER pretty.
Okay, I’m not sure if it was in caps. But they were fairly emphatic about the “no pretty boys” rule.
Apparently, readers of straight romance want their men to look like “men”—whatever that means. Or maybe the issue is that they don’t want to imagine dating someone prettier than they are. Girls get to be pretty, boys…um…powerful? Strong? Scary? Dude, I don’t know what boys are supposed to be like in straight romance…
Luckily, I write male/male romance nowadays and can make my boys as pretty as I want! Like my hero in my new release, Nathaniel. He’s extremely fem, brash, diva-ish, and I just love him for it.
The funny thing is that fem guys get a bad rap not just in romance novels, but in the world as well. Even within the gay community there can be a double standard, with more value being placed on butch, or straight-looking guys than on more effeminate men. This is why I love websites like SuperPretty — which celebrate the feminine side of masculine beauty.
Personally, I love fem guys. There are few men in my life that I enjoy more than the girlie gay boys who are always checking their hair and batting their eyelashes (at my husband), and generally being their bouncy, adorable selves.
Why should masculine be seen as “good”, while feminine is “less good”? Not everyone is going to agree with me on this, but I feel like this way of thinking is not only hurtful to fem guys, but is also kind’ve sexist.
And anyway, pretty guys are hot! They’re easier to relate to and less intimidating than macho men, and hence way easier to imagine falling into bed with. They seem open to everything, in touch with their bodies, eager for new experiences, and not caught up in how they are supposed to act.
If being a real man means not giving a sh*t about what other people think, pretty boys are totally macho.
And that’s why I love them. <3
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My Latest Release: Diva and the Frat Boy
Nathaniel Reece is savvy and fierce and wouldn’t give boring-ass Greg Sanders the time of day, except Greg is the president of a fraternity Nathaniel wants to join. But once Nathaniel gets a taste of the ferocity under Greg’s cool exterior, he can’t stop himself from trying to lure the uptight frat brother out of his shell.
The face of gay life on campus and a crusader heading off to law school, Greg doesn’t see any problem with seducing the flamboyant and exciting Nathaniel. But that’s before he finds out his fraternity brothers are refusing Nathaniel’s pledge bid. Greg’s athletic and masculine and has never had to deal with the censure of his friends or the odd looks of strangers, but if he’s going to be what Nathaniel needs, he’ll have to be comfortable not just being out, but also standing out.
Get your copy of Diva and the Frat Boy at BookStrand.com
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Retired party girl and science fiction enthusiast, Daisy Harris spends most of her time writing sexy romance and plotting the fall of Western civilization. Her books can be found on Amazon, Nook, and wherever else fine erotic romance is sold.
Website: http://www.thedaisyharris.com
Heidi Cullinan
Evaine
Marie Sexton
Shawny
Great post! I read once that romance heros should never be described as beautiful. Look, sometimes a man is beautiful. I envision many of the heros I’ve a created to be beautiful;) Diva and the Frat Boy looks like a sexy read;)
enjoy your interview, very much, but sorry im old school i dont mind a bad looking fella, but i do like them tall and big shoulders, must be a throw back to the rugby players and coal miners as in welsh
Thanks for the comments, guys.
Ack, rugby players! They are too big!! I always worry big guys would crush lil’ ol’ me.
thanks daisy, im big myself now, so they wouldnt be a problem.only i think i stick with my 6ft 2in husband as im to old now lol
Lol—I think part of my issue is I’m from NY, where everyone is small. Everyone over 6’1 feels like a giant to me.
I think the problem is straight women writing for straight women. The men have to be butch and manly so that we can drool over them! But I like the girly-boys very much. Why can’t we identify with the femme guy and “be” him? So far I have found just a couple of authors who’ll let their MC be flamboyant. I think they’re the brave ones.
I absolutely adore the pretty flamboyant boys as well, and I do actually identify with the femme guy.
So much so actually, that my friends claim I’m a closeted gay – even though I am in fact a woman past my prime
*LOL* I know, if I was to be re-born as a man, I’d be gay!
Me too!!
I’m probably about as butch as my husband. It’s kind’ve funny, because folks often expect gay men to be more fem than straight. And though the uber-girlie guys I know are gay, I also know plenty of gay men who are more masculine than a lot of straight guys I know.
That said, I live in Seattle. Where the measure of a man is how well he can program and how far he can ride his bike. More hipster glasses ’round these parts than tool belts and trucks.
Yeah, I’m of the loves-the-pretty-boys camp myself. Not a fan of the big muscles and tatts. Give me loose-limbed and lanky every time!!
Mmmm…Lanky…
Go to Holsum CollegeTumblr link listed above and to May 8th post (p 11 of 21). Watch video under Neil Patrick Harris’ picture. It will make you cry; how unfair and cruel to this young man.
In college, I always got teased with the refrain “but he looks like a girl!” when I talked about certain crushes. (They were usually jocks, oddly enough–bicyclists, hockey players, swimmers–but had long hair and a certain windblown wispiness to the face.) I’ve never gone for the oiled-up muscle-bound guy…always feels like he’s trying too hard to prove his masculinity. A little touch of androgyny adds interest and intrigue, makes me look twice. There was a really great mid-’90s (or early ’00s?) zine essay somewhere called “The Girlie Boy,” theorizing why gender-straddling straight guys make the best boyfriends, and explaining that they cover a surprisingly wide variety of subcategories (including unexpected ones like the bad boy). Wish I could remember where it came from.
I agree about the gender straddling straight boys. Personally, I’ve always been suspect of the sexual prowess of guys who seemed to butch.
I’ve seen some similar arguments about the whole thing. One person’s blog post was that “maybe the women who read m/m romance with feminine guys aren’t as okay with a m/m relationship as they think they are, because mentally the feminine guy could still be interpreted as a female” or something like that. It was an interesting theory, maybe, but I don’t think it’s true. I find feminine men to be very attractive and drool over them more than anything… but really, I just like to look and read about them. In the end I don’t think I would work well with a feminine guy, just because I do like a little bit of an… aggressive guy I guess. Doesn’t mean he has to be a jock, but it’s just not something thats usually found in a fem guy. But I still love them >.< I develop stalker like tendencies towards them, but that's a different conversation lol. *looks back at some provided links in article* *evil smile*