Mix it Up Monday: Fred Figgelhorn and Bossy and the Brat

Am I the only person who thinks Fred is hot? Well, not “Fred” per se, but Lucas Cruikshank is smoking. He’s eighteen, has a blond bowl haircut and a wicked sense of humor. And yeah, I’m too old for him, but I don’t care. He’s flipping adorable.

For those of you who don’t know, Lucas Cruikshank is famous for having created and acted the fictional character Fred Figgelhorn in a series of YouTube videos. There have been two Fred movies, Fred: The Movie and Night of the Living Fred. The also has his own “Lucas” channel now, which I find just as funny.

His work is both a criticism and a celebration of the whole taking-yourself-too-seriously-on-YouTube meme.

Lucas talking about Fred 2… yo, I’m totally not a stalker…

 

Even a better video…

 

However, I’m waiting for La Cruikshank to break out of this role and become the heartthrob he was always meant to be. I imagine his career will follow the path of Jim Carrey’s. He’ll start off doing the over-the-top physical comedy he’s famous for, and then someone will try him out as a lead in a romantic comedy.

(I’m referencing, of course, Jim Carrey’s role in Once Bitten. He was so cute in that, though he went right back to playing the likes of Ace Ventura soon after.)

Lucas will mature into the type of actor Jim Carrey is now—the sort that can pull off the intensity necessary for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but also play a completely badass Batman villain.

My favorite thing about Lucas Cruikshanks’ Fred is his suspenders.

Sigh.

Yeah, Fred wears suspenders. This is an awesome thing for several reasons.

It may or may not be a nod to Robin Williams in Mork and Mindy. One of the great comedic roles of all time.

1. Suspenders are childish—yet also slutty. They make a guy seem submissive, which totally turns my crank. In fact, suspenders are like the male equivalent of a Catholic school uniform.
2. I associate suspenders with fashion only worn by gay men. Or gay boys, as the case may be.
3. 1970s FTMFW!

I was totally thinking of Fred/Lucas when I wrote my suspender-wearing Bossy and the Brat hero, Tyler.

Tyler is nineteen, has a dorky bowl haircut and a pointed chin. He wears tight clothes, colorful shirts, and—you guessed it—suspenders. And though he’s only three years younger than his co-hero, that age difference feels like a giant chasm to Cal.

Here’s a little excerpt for you…

* * * * *

“You want some tea?” Cal crouched at the side of the bed, moving the jars and cups he had stacked by his water heater. He didn’t have many home comforts in the dorms, but he was glad that as an RA he’d been at least trusted with more than the freshmen.

“Yeah, sure. Peppermint?” Tyler thumbed through his screens, typing. Even ignoring Cal, he looked lovely. Sandy locks flopped over his eyes, waiting to be brushed aside by an impatient hand. Tyler rubbed his feet at his opposite heels, flipping off his sneakers. He looked so perfect on Cal’s grandma’s quilt that Cal almost forgot he wasn’t supposed to be thinking of Tyler that way.

“Yeah, I’ve got that kind.” Cal dropped a sachet of tea in a mug and poured hot water over it. He stirred it twice with his lone spoon before handing it to Tyler. “Here.”

“Oh, thanks.” Tyler looked up from his phone, his forehead knitted together in thought. “Can I ask you to read something?” He held his phone in Cal’s direction.

“I guess.” Cal wasn’t sure how to sit close enough to read the phone in Tyler’s hand without climbing onto the bed with the boy. So instead, he opted to sit on his desk chair directly across from him.

“Geez. You don’t make this easy.” Tyler bounded off the bed and in a quick move slid onto Cal’s lap and tossed an arm around his shoulder.

“What—” Cal wanted to shift out from under Tyler’s weight, but the armrests got in his way. That was the second time that night someone had climbed onto his lap and he didn’t know what to make of it. Especially since his cock was itching and filling from the press of Tyler’s ass when it had barely cared for what was between Nicole’s legs. “You know you can’t sit on me like this, Ty.”

“Oh, stop being a prude. You’re straight anyway.” Tyler rotated so that his legs hung over the armrest. He was skinny as a rail, but the move nearly ground off Cal’s balls. “And you’re not my RA anymore.”

* * * * *

I’m just going to imagine that Lucas Cruikshanks climbed onto my lap like that…

Le sigh.

Anyway, I’m giving away five copies of Bossy and the Brat (Men of Holsum College 5) today, so if you’re one of the lucky winners, know as you read that Tyler, in my mind, was Lucas Cruikshank. A slightly older, slighter gayer version.  (To enter the drawing, please leave your name and email in a comment below.) 

And, of course, if that image makes you need brain bleach in order to read the book, feel free to ignore everything I just said.  J

* * * * *

Calvin Beaumont is supposed to marry Nicole. He’s a biology major, lab tech, and resident advisor—everything everyone expects him to be. There’s only one problem. He likes boys. In particular, a flirty dance major who was a freshman on his hall.

It’s sizzling summer at Holsum College, and Tyler Burk isn’t a freshman anymore. When he notices his hardworking resident advisor has same-sex feelings, he goads, teases, and tempts Mr. Bossy into dating on the sly. Cal may not be out, but he’s domineeringly hot, and Tyler doesn’t mind keeping things quiet…for a while.

But Calvin has wanted Tyler all year, and their sexting and secret rendezvous soon blossom into something neither one of them can control. Can Cal control his secret, as well as his sexy little brat? Or will he be man enough to admit he’s not the man everyone thought he was?

* * * * *

Birkenstock-wearing glamour girl and mother of two by immaculate conception, Daisy Harris still isn’t sure if she writes erotica. Her romances start out innocently enough. However, her characters behave like complete sluts. Much to Miss Harris’s dismay the sex tends to get completely out of hand.

She writes about fantastical creatures and about young men getting their freak on, and she’s never missed an episode of The Walking Dead.

 

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