Today’s candy is from COP reader Kyle.
Kyle, btw, totally hits my sweet-spot on the gender line.
The next two pics come with commentary.
I can’t wear too tight fitting of clothes, or people pin me as female, yet I can’t stand anything baggy. I have to wear shorts most of the time, because men’s pants don’t fit me right. The waist is too big or too small, the pant legs are too long. I have to wear teens/boys underwear, otherwise they are too big as well. Don’t even get me started about even buying the actual clothes. What if people realize that I’m biologically female? Will they think of me strange for buying male clothes, male underwear? I can’t speak, I can’t let them hear my voice to give me away. I can’t make eye contact and see them looking at me. Maybe if I stop slouching so much–I slouch to cover up my breasts, to help my shirt drape over them. But today I’m wearing my binding shirt, so I should square my shoulders, to take up more space like the men do. But that’s not me, either. I don’t want to be masculine–I’m trans, yes, but that doesn’t mean I have to fit into even that stereotype, right? I like being a bit feminine and flamboyant. I just wish being myself didn’t give me away so often, too.
The binding shirt. How flat do I look in it? I wish I was flat all the time, with out it, but things just don’t go my way. Last year, I wore my binding shirt too much and developed problems with my sternum. I found out I shouldn’t wear it more than nine hours a day, according to one source, and no more than twelve hours a day according to another source. If I wear it too much, I could really fuck myself up. I could screw up my ribs, be in pain, or have difficulty breathing. Sometimes my sternum aches if I wear it too many days in a row. I just wish I was flat, but that costs money I don’t have. I just want to go around with my shirt off, or wear a tank top and show some skin. That is my dream. Is that so hard? Why wasn’t I born this way?
(Never, EVER use ace bandages to bind! It is extremely bad for your chest. Do not use any sort of “home” binding method, either–back braces or anything of the like. Please only use something designed for binding. Underworks.com/ftm has very good, affordable binders. The tri-top binder is very good. If you can’t afford those either, please look into the Big Brothers Used Binder program. Smaller binder does not equal flatter chest! Don’t go too tight. Get the right size, or even a size bigger. It still works.)
Kyle, you’re gorgeous, and thanks for sharing. If I had a magic wand, I’d wave it and make it so you could walk around proud and flat without that binding shirt. I’d ogle, too. Just saying.