Thursday Thing: An Ode to the Speedo
Anyone else still suffering from Olympic withdrawal? I keep feeling like there must be a race I should be watching or interview I should be reading, but alas, the athletes have packed up their medals and headed home. I am an Olympic super-fan, and nothing says “Olympics” to me like men in tiny Speedo swimsuits. In the real world, tiny swimsuits on men are often a fashion fail—as the only men brave enough to wear them at the gym or on public beaches are European, elderly, indifferent to public opinion, or all three. But in the Olympics, the speedo far from a punchline—it’s a testament to the body as a machine.
And what a glorious machine it is—whether we’re talking about the long, lean swimmers with their wide shoulders and smooth skin, the burly water-polo players with their bulging muscles and hairy chests, or the elegant divers with their flexible limbs.
The speedo is a cheeky nod to the need for uniforms at all—it’s a little slash of color that says “we don’t really need clothes at all.” It showcases the male form like nothing else, yet it is utterly utilitarian: simply cover up the goods and get to work with the minimal amount of fabric necessary. It’s refreshing minimalism in an age of baggy shorts, ultra-padding, and compression sleeves as fashion statements. Not that a speedo can’t be a fashion statement—Ryan Lochte has been known to wear a hot pink one on occasion and the Brits’ patriotic flag speedos are made of awesome.
In recent Olympics, there have been fewer speedos on display as the male swimmers have moved to high performance compression suits that go down to their knees. But God bless the divers who have kept the same wardrobe since the 1970s. And the water polo players who make up for their ridiculous bonnets by wearing the classic tiny suits and wrestling with each other. And as a special bonus, some water polo teams still wear the old school drawstring waist suits—we’re just one tussle away from a free show.
This year’s “it” speedo boy was Britain’s Tom Daley. Entire Tumblr streams are devoted to him and his microscopic uniforms. He’s not camera shy at all—check out the extensive pictures and videos in his official galleries.
Tom’s a bit young for my tastes—I like my eye-candy at least drinking age. But 32 year-old American diver Troy Dumais has offered me guilt-free ogling for several Olympiads now and earns my gold-medal vote for best-speedo of the 2012 games. How about you? Did you have a favorite speedo-wearing athlete from the 2012 games? Are there other sports with uniforms you love? Love the new compression suits for swimmers or miss the old speedo standbys?
Missing the Olympics as much as me? Going for Gold, an anthology of Olympic themed m/m shorts from MLR Press and edited by EM Lynley is out tomorrow, August, 31st. There are many different sports and pairings represented. My story Swimming the Distance stars a swimmer (no surprise!) and his long-suffering boyfriend:
When denial turns to deception, love may not be enough to keep Kyle and Bodhan’s relationship afloat. Hours before leaving for the Olympics, Kyle Christopher discovers that his long-time boyfriend, an Olympic long distance swimmer, has done an interview where he denied being gay. Despite sharing a home and a dog with Kyle, three-time Olympian Bodhan Petrov isn’t ready to come out publicly. After Bodhan’s lies start stacking up, Kyle’s not sure he can keep waiting quietly in the shadows. When their estrangement takes a toll on Bodhan’s performance, both must decide where their priorities lay once and for all.
Want to know more? Visit my website for a sneak peek, but before you go, comment to this post (with your email addy) and be entered into a drawing for a copy of the ebook Going for Gold. As a parting gift, I leave you with the British diving team (including Tom Daley!) dancing in their speedos to “Sexy and I Know It.” You’re welcome.
Tom Daley & Co rock the speedo:
(The USA swim team did a similar spoof music video—their video is heavier on the girls, but there’s some great speedo action in the latter half of the video).
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About Annabeth:
One of Annabeth Albert’s earliest memories is watching Greg Louganis dive for gold in the Los Angeles Olympics. She hasn’t missed an Olympics since. When she’s not cheering for Team USA in everything from gymnastics to judo, she’s a Pacific Northwest writer of contemporary romance. Emotionally complex, sexy, and funny stories are her favorites both to read and to write. In between searching out dark heroes to redeem, she works a rewarding day job and wrangles two toddlers. Please join her online to learn what she’s working on, what books she’s reading and loving, and to join her pursuit of the perfect date-night movie. Visit Annabeth’s website or tweet @AnnabethAlbert .
(All still photos used under Creative Commons license – Photographer Charles McCain)
Heidi Cullinan
Evaine
Marie Sexton
Shawny
LOL is Tom Daley even legal yet? In Commonwealth countries (Britain, Australia, India, and so on), we’ve been following him since he was a child, competing at Commonwealth Games (the Olympics only for those countries).
I’ll always remember him as a kid!
Okay – he just turned eighteen, and is just finishing school. That’s a little too young for me!
Tom Daley’s been legal two years. The age of consent in Britain is 16.
Yeah, same as in Aus. But I meant legal – like legally an adult. Sixteen’s a little young for me to lust after. But he certainly has his own generation of huge fans!
And speaking of that night, I thought David Boudia – gold medallist on the night – and Alexandre Despatie outshone Daley in the looks department in the diving!
I agree! Tom’s a bit young. He sure is pretty and fun, but I can’t totally perv on him. I enjoy him but not in an attraction way. But David Boudia is 22 now and while I still feel guilty, I love him. He did a great interview post-Olympics where he seems like a totally down-to-earth guy. And Alexandre . . . *swoon* The final night of diving was just a total pleasure to watch.
Oh yeah, Despatie–I totally forgot about him this morning! I always thought he was rather lovely. Chris Mears was beautiful, too. And I was wondering whatever became of Thomas Finchum (Boudia’s former synchro partner) this year…I could never watch him comfortably once he grew up, because I remember when he was a teenager, too. I didn’t see him competing this year, though…
Finchum was forced into early retirement due to a shoulder injury. He attempted to qualify in springboard, but didn’t make the cut as Troy Dumais and Chris Colwill got those spots. (Colwill had a disastrous qualifying round.) Bodia replaced Finchum with McCroy. Finchum is now doing a country music boy band
(No, seriously, he is.) (A deliciously gossip-y tongue and cheek article about Finchum and speculations of the slash variety: http://bangkokbois.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/gay-of-the-week-thomas-finchum-wants-to-be-top-but-settles-for-a-three-way/ )
For all those suffering Olympic withdrawal, the Paralympics started yesterday and some of the guys are extremely hot. Top of my to-drool-over list is English rower Tom Aggar, the current world champion – I have a thing for men with big arms – but he’s by no means the only hunk. There’s Steve Brown captain of the UK’s wheelchair rugby team, for starters.
I’m disappointed to see Wales’s John McFall isn’t running this year though – he’s gorgeous!
Oh! Thanks for the reminder. I would LOVE to do a Para-Olympian hero. I’ve got plans for a wheelchair-athlete hero for a m/f story and I’d love to do something with a differently abled hero in a m/m as well. Have you read M. Jules Aedin’s awesome Paper Planes? It’s a m/m featuring an amputee hero. And what I love is that his missing leg isn’t the story at all–it’s a mere footnote in a agnsty tale of loss and second-chance love and long-distance relationships. LOVED. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11150550-paper-planes. (Making a note to get Tom Aggar’s arms in a future book . . . )
I think the speedo is made of fantasticalness! Yum. Yum yummy!
theponylady at ymail dot com
I was a little sad when the Olympics came to an end. I really enjoyed watching the swimmers and the divers. Their bodies are awesome! I love that the divers still wear speedos.
I’ve seen both videos, but never get tired of watching them, especially the one with Tom Daley.
Would love to read Going for Gold! Thanks for the giveaway!
lkbherring64(at)gmail(dot)com
No one, and I mean NO ONE, was happier than I was when the Olympics powers-that-be ruled those space-age body-covering swimsuits an unfair advantage. Hooray for the return of the Speedo! I’ve had a horrendous Lochte weakness since Beijing, and I have to smile when I think of the swim meet I attended (YES, to ogle the men!)–not only did I accidentally run into the man first thing (he smiled and said hi, woo-hoo!), he was wearing a RIDICULOUS neon green Speedo with stars all over the rear end. Sigh! I really love Nathan Adrian, too, and I tell myself it’s okay to ogle Kristian Ipsen (19-year-old synchro diving partner of Troy Dumais) because he attends my alma mater. I’ve always loved water polo guys (I really admire Tony Azevedo and am so sorry about the way things shook out for the US team), and wish I could see that sport more often. I don’t understand why men’s beach volleyball players suddenly have to wear SHIRTS during the Olympics…I’m sure that’s what threw off the US men. And oddly enough, given my love of manflesh, I really love hockey uniforms, too…there’s an intriguing androgyny there (they wear garters, for God’s sake!), plus I like to think of the lengthy striptease it takes to get to the prize beneath. Sorry for the run-on sentences, I’m very sleep-deprived this week. Thanks for the opportunity!
vitajex(at)aol(dot)com
Oh yes. We speak the same language. Nathan Adrian is absolutely amazing–he’s a super nice guy, articulate and humble in interviews, with that killer smile . . . Lochte is fun eye candy, but he’s a bit of an airhead. However, he apparently wants to market those spangle-speedos to the masses. Which is made of awesome. 2016 uniforms? I love that Kristian is paired with Troy. I can tell myself I’m really only ogling Troy . . . And Men’s Beach Volleyball is my second favorite Olympic event. So, so sad for the American Men, including my crushes Phil & Todd (google some pics of them playing shirtless . . .) I almost did a volleyball hero, but one of the South American teams came out this year, and I didn’t want any similarities to a real story at all. (It is however, a GREAT story of acceptance and striking back against hecklers with a stadium full of pink: http://outsports.com/jocktalkblog/2011/04/12/fans-players-deck-out-in-pink-to-show-support-for-openly-gay-brazilian-volleyball-player/ )
The volleyball story was really touching…I’ve always found Brazilians so cool. I’ve always had a bit of a Phil and Todd fixation myself. And even though Lochte’s obviously not the sharpest tool in the drawer, I love the fact that he’s batcrap insane and apparently has no inner monologue whatsoever. (I prefer my athletes as lovable loose cannons after years of being able to predict whatever is said in any NHL post-game interview…)
And I forgot, everything to love about Nathan Adrian in one convenient place:
http://swimswam.com/2012/03/photos-of-adrians-suit-rip-nsfw/
That wonderful, wonderful video…sigh! I’ll go now, honest.
I love Lochte’s insane stream-of-consciousness rambling. And that his life’s ambition is apparently to be on the bachelor. I may have to watch if that happens.
I love Phil. I love the bald-by-choice & super tall thing a lot. And I love that Todd isn’t all waxed and polished like some of the teams. *Sigh*
Also, speaking of Kristian Ipsen, how awesome is that he and Nick McCroy were roommates? Like a live-action episode of Daisy’s Holsum College series, my mind just explodes at the possibilities . . .
(Yes, I lied, folks. Oh, well.)
I know that someday Ryan Lochte will record a terrible rap album. I also know that I will buy it on the day it is released.
Slashing athletes is one of the great joys in life, and I was unaware of Ipsen/McCrory. Awesome…
My DH is always threatening to wear his speedo in public. (He normally only wears it under a wetsuit.) Maybe I should get him a snazzier one!
Lochte wants to sell his spangled green and pink speedos. I think you need to help him out and buy several
Love, love, love the speedos the divers and polo teams wore! And that’s the core reason why I miss the Olympics. Great article!
Would love to win the book too. Kayakinbarb at gmail dot com.
Would love to read Going for Gold.
jengardenATgmailDOTcom
The eye candy was really scrumptious while watching diving and swimming. Thanks for the contest!
strive4bst(At) yahoo(Dot) com
I think you covered it Annabeth! The BBC had the Team GB uniform designer (Stella McCartney) on TV one night during the Olympics and when asked which was her favourite outfit to design – Tom Daley’s speedo’s!! i think i even remember her saying she took the measurements herself (could be making that bit up but there was def some comments to similar effect!)
i agree with Trix – everytime I watched the BV, the men had more and more clothes on (though matches at 11pm London prob were cold!)
I actually liked that the Beach Volleyball players were cold–it let my daughter see the women in something other than a bikini. (Horrible double standard I know, but she kept wanting to know why they play in their panties . . .
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I think the diving competitions are among my favs in the Summer Games. All those lithe, lean bodies, the combination of athleticism and grace… and of course, Speedo’s.
I would argue though, there’s something to be said for the tight breeches, shadbelly, and tall boots of the dressage arena too, though. *coughs–eventing FTW–coughs*
Tom Daly is a heartbreaker, but the guy who won my heart and soul is Mathew Mitcham. What a ton of personality!
Now, of course, I’m off to find hot pictures of competitive show jumpers. The riders, not the horses, that is. It’s a tough life, but there you are.
The breeches . . . Oh yes. Very much looking forward to reading yours!
Just . . . Drool, drool, drool watching those gorgeous bodies! Amen to all Speedo comments above.
Definitely want to read Going for Gold. I swam competitively MANY years ago and was quite enamored with the speedo. Wonderful invention. Oh, and count me in for the book.
jillw@att.net
I am in awe of anyone who can do it competitively! Thanks for commenting!
I quit perving on them when I realized they were all younger than my children and only minutely older than my oldest grandson. Count me in on the draw please.
I figure soon I’ll need to move to crushing on the coaches
Oh yay! MLR got the buy link up early
http://www.mlrbooks.com/ShowBook.php?book=ANTHGOLD
Not really a Speedo fan…**duck** There is no mystery to it…
I like a little mystery or nothing at all <3 chellebe at comcast dot net
I really enjoyed watching diving–I kept wondering if it is supposedly so cold they have to go hot tubbing after every dive–how did they fill out those Speedo’s so well? klyancey @ hiwaay dot net
Withdrawl? Me too. I love the male gymnast, even if their uniforms could be a little more reveiling.
Please count me in.
O, yummy. Gonna get me a copy of that.
Angie
forgot my addy – silly me
fallenangel@uk2.net