The Penis Cake – My Baking Misadventure
So I was helping my aunt out with putting Christmas stuff away one day in January and while in the attic, what did we find? A penis pan. She offered it to me because she couldn’t imagine an instance where she’d need it, and thinking evil thoughts, I took it.
How I managed to hide it from the hubby, I’ll never know, because it’s not a small pan. Valentine’s Day was coming up, and we don’t normally do anything, so I figured I’d surprise him with cake. A very special cake *grin*.
Now, I’m not a baker. I’m not really a good cook in any form except for maybe Macaroni and Cheese. So I follow the directions for the pan and the mix, and even remembered the trick with the toothpick to know when it was done in the middle.
A friend of ours rents a room from us, so I somehow got both men to stay out of the kitchen for the day, promising they’d get a yummy treat in the end if they’d just leave it alone and not peek.
So dodging any stray glances and blocking the oven, I began to prepare for the frosting stage. Why did this need preparation? Because I wasn’t witty enough to think of getting pink frosting before buying the white. So taking some red food coloring I went to put a few drops in my bowl of frosting, and ended up pouring a bunch in *head slap*. My mother-in-law was in on this because I kept texting her for tips on the baking and frosting etc.
She’s also the one who gave me the idea of pink frosting, and when I lacked it, the red food coloring. She’d warned me about being gentle with the dropper. Sigh. So I mixed as best I could, hoping it wouldn’t turn out straight red and end up looking more like a bloody penis, cause ack!
A miracle occurred and it turned out a very nice shade of pink. So now, all I had to worry about was the baking. When it was finally done, I took it out, let it cool a bit, again still making sure no men stepped anywhere near the kitchen. It cooled quite a bit, and I went to dump it out of the pan…one miracle was enough for the day apparently. Parts came out while others didn’t, so I put everything back in the pan as neatly as I could, and frosted it where it sat, making it as thick as possible *snort* to cover the break lines. Then I called the hubby in first.
When he saw it, his eyes got real big and just stared at it in disbelief, while I on the other hand tried to keep a straight face. He asked why I frosted it still in the pan and I couldn’t fight the laughter back anymore when I told him, “because when I tried to flip the pan over, only the balls came out.”
He flinched a bit at that and called our friend up. He just looked at it and said real slowly, “it’s a…penis cake.” Their WTF looks made my day. I walked away saying “Happy Valentine’s Day” thinking that’d be the end of it.
They called me back in and handed me a knife…they couldn’t bear to cut into it LOL. In the end they finally laughed about it, and the cake was big enough it actually managed to last us a week, which is impressive in our household!
Anyone else made any fun shaped baked goodies?